If you and your spouse are splitting up, you may be wondering how to tell your children. Ideally, you should let them know before you separate and before they hear the news from someone else.
If you plan on how to share the news, the conversations usually go better. Take the time necessary to ensure your kids are alright and that they understand.
Tell them together as a united front
Psychology Today discusses that, unless it is unsafe to do so, it is important to tell the kids together. Prepare what you will say, so that emotions do not take over. Plan to share the news at a time when no one has to be anywhere, such as a weekend morning.
Even if you have multiple children of various ages, you should tell them at the same time. You can then follow up with them separately as they process the news.
Keep message simple and clear
According to healthychildren.org, the messaging should not include too many details. Keep things simple, and you can address specific questions later, sharing only what is appropriate for each child’s age.
Address concerns and emotions
Your children will probably react to the news differently. Some may have questions and concerns right away, while others may need time to think. Address known concerns, such as who will be moving out, who the kids will live with and if they have to change schools, right away. Answer their questions as best you can.
Do not place blame
No matter what the cause of the divorce is, do not blame the other parent. Let your children know it is not their fault and that you both love them.